so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
