i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
