nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
