Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
