I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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