I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize