i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize