I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
