You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
