it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
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He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
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In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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