Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You were trust falling into bushes
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
