just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
