wrigley field is MILF paradise
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My ATM looks so different sober.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
