If i come over, it means nothing
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize