she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
