It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
