I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
