Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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