3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says