i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day