i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
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I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
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He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.