ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
