check it out our google latitudes are spooning
please come you make the beer taste better
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
