at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
this will be a night to untag.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
