11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
