Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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