i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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