just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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