Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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