You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
