went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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