Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
