when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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