Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
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dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
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Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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