god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car