Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
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Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.