I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that