So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up