you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
