I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
