ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
