I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am available for nakedness
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
