thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
