I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
