my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She needs sedatives and a leash
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
