You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
