Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
