so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
