All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
