After last night, I could never be a politician.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
