There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My balls are so social today.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
