I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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