shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize