I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
