I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We had to coat check the pizza.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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