I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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