i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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