KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
