She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
