Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This toilet bowl is my home.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
