my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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