did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
