I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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