I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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