Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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