Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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