The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
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I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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