wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just tell him i said nine months
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
