I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Two words: nipple clamps
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