Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
