Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Let's get the cat blown out
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
